This is my second blog post that I have written in darkness. However, this time, in complete darkness. The only thing illuminating this room is my laptop screen, which is powered by my reserve battery. I am sitting on my bed with a pillow propped up to support my back. Yet, even with my laptop turned on, I still cannot properly see my toes. It is really dark in here. As you may guess, I currently do not have any electricity. I have not had electricity for a few hours now, which, is not uncommon in most places of the world.
Since I have no electricity, I have no internet and no power. My electricity supports the internet modem (obviously). I will post this when the Internet returns. As for the water, I do not have city water (aka running water) 24 hours a day. In the afternoon, the city water stops and I use a pump, powered by electricity, to give me water. Thus, no electricity means no water, no electronics (except for this laptop), and no internet.
I did finally remember that I have a candle and definitely took advantage of it.
Whenever there is a bad storm, the power goes out. It does not surprise me or even frustrate me. Sometimes I think it is funny and sometimes I place internal bets on how long it will last. However, what always happens is reflection. The running theory is that when you have no distractions or modern conveniences- again, except for this laptop- there is a lot of room for reflection. Here is what I think I have learned with only 9 months of service left…
1) I do not miss or depend on modern conveniences as much as I thought I would. I do not own any of the following in my home: a dryer, TV, microwave, an enclosed shower, attached indoor toilet, or even a sofa. The thing I miss the most is ironically the sofa. Soviet-style dining room chairs are not the most comfortable and neither is a 40-year-old mattress. Sometimes, I just want a sofa. However, my life does not feel any less complete with any of the abovementioned absent in my life. Sure, they made my life easier, but I don’t actually truly crave them. It is more like a fond memory, something I kinda miss. However, it is something I can live without.
2) Working on something I love sometimes does not feel like work. I do not think I put in 40 hours in the office, realistically I put in close to 32-35. However, I do believe I work more than 40 hours a week easily if I include my secondary projects. I go home and I work on activities and committees that I have cofounded with my Peace Corps friends. It is hard work, but it has meaning. I may not see the impact or have instant gratification, but I believe in the work I do. Therefore, it does not feel like a chore. I truly enjoy doing it in my free time. That is an odd concept, volunteering to do work on my free time without any expectations of receiving anything in return.
3) I’ve become more creative and innovative with little resources. I have literally conducted workshops out of upcycled paper and nothing else. In the U.S, when we think of a professional training, we thinking conference rooms, snacks, notebooks, whiteboards, you name it. As long as I have some sort of roof in bad weather, I’m good to go. I don’t even need a functioning restroom with running water to host an event for dozens of people. Excepting to have all those resources and conveniences would be a very diva-like move indeed.
I have learned to ask more meaningful questions to see how we can teach and train without any visual aids. During DREAM Camp, we had break-out sessions. Since they were occurring concurrently, we only had one projector. For fairness and sustainability, we decided that the three concurrent breakout sessions would require ZERO resources except for chairs and maybe some sheets of paper. Even with few resources, the sessions were meaningful and successful.
4) I’ve grown to become a more patient person. When projects do not go smoothly, and they never do, I ride out the bumpy wave. I have grown to be more patient with the unexpected turbulence. However, I am not immune to having bad days. For example, yesterday, I was a bit of miss cranky pants. We were buying supplies for our composting grant and the merchants were less than helpful. Things were not delivered on time, ATMs decided not dispense cash, and credit card readers decided to become illiterate. After an hour of walking around the city figuring things out, I thought to myself, “why can’t things just work in this country sometimes?”
It was ironic because this bad attitude was only 24 hours after I had presented on a panel. On this panel, I said, “You can’t change your situation or people, but you can change your attitude.” So basically, I had to take my own advice or be a hypocrite. It was not easy. However, I have noticed that I have become better at practicing patience.
5) Gratefulness is a feeling that encompasses me the most. Maybe I count my blessings to keep me sane, or maybe the difficulties have pointed out the beautiful things in life. I don’t know why, but I feel grateful most days now. Life is not easy in the Peace Corps and I think when little miracles happen they seem really big. When people show up to a meeting on time, I feel like I moved heaven and earth. When my youth take my advice seriously, I feel like I actually made a difference. In the United States, little miracles are easy to ignore because they do not take so much effort to achieve. Feeling all the feels makes me feel in a sense happier. Peace Corps has been rewarding and I seriously hope that general feeling does not go away.